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Amazon Fiction

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Clouds (poetry) [Apr. 30th, 2009|08:23 am]
Amazon Fiction

amazon_fiction

[amazon_syren]
[Tags|, ]
[mood |thoughtfulthoughtful]
[music |Sunrise - Norah Jones ("Feels Like Home")]

Clouds

I rise with the sun
house crowded with furniture
dirty dishes
unwashed laundry

pick my way between paper bags and patio chairs

forage in the fridge for food
something I can stuff in a tupperware
take to work

I haven’t cooked in weeks

dawn on Gladstone is concrete under foot
walking
toes cold
on mornings that are still
cool

cumulus mist disperses like dreams

but this grey miasma lingers
ghostly
waiting

Sun burns slowly through
her haze of halo’d clouds

wish I could do the same
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: ilthit
2009-05-06 07:20 am (UTC)
That was wonderful. In my non-verified amateur unlearned opinion one of the best poems you've ever written.
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[User Picture]From: amazon_syren
2009-05-06 12:30 pm (UTC)
Wow.
Thanks. :-D
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[User Picture]From: ilthit
2009-05-06 07:26 am (UTC)
To expand on the previous comment!

I loved it because the mood (the way I read it) was of a very low-level every-day despair; subtle, understated, nuanced, open to interpretation, calling to the reader's own experiences, evoking emotion, rather than stating it by name or cliche, and that's all just how I like my poetry.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: amazon_syren
2009-05-06 12:30 pm (UTC)
Rawk! :-D

That's exactly what I was going for! :-D
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